things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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