I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
