i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
