she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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