I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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