spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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