Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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