Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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