That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
