This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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