Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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