so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
