how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
