I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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