Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
