So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
