Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
