you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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