I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
