Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
