What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You are a genius and a whore.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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