I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize