What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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