I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
