When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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