Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize