If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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