If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
