I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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