They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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