Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
