Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
