As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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