So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
