i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Pants are for mortals
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
