Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
