Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
