You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
