im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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