So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
