I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
