I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
