LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
