I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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