oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
