let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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