Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize