And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
