just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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