I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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