My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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