wake up i wanna do it froggy style
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
