Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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