go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
