If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize