i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
