do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
