also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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