I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
