why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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