i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
