i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize